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Joke of the Day

"I will be answering all questions with both middle fingers this morning."

"What's worse than getting dumped by your girlriend? Getting denied by a car when hitch-hiking."

"What do you call a person that worships NASCAR? A racist!"

"I don't even have a theory where Malaysia is."

"Dude just knocked on my door... selling raffle tickets for black orphans, I said fuck that, with my luck I'd probably win one."

"*unplugs grandpas life support to charge my vape*"

"2 penises went to watch a movie.. Penis 1: Is this an adult film? Penis 2: Why? Penis 1: Then we have to watch it standing up. P.S. - xD I'm sorry, this just came to me.."

"What's up? This guy! (points at self)"

"What's a Russian's favorite snack? Chechen Nuggets"

"Director: so, you'll be playing this regular guy... Johnny Depp: no thanks."