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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a person that worships NASCAR? A racist!"

"What cooks better than women? Jews."

"To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked pizza. Then I made tacos because they don't live in a swing state."

"I was in a tornado. It sucked."

"I just burned 1,500 calories! I forgot the pizza in the oven."

"How many gnomes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Just the two, really. Or as many as will fit, if theyre feeling frisky."

"If you wake up on Christmas morning with a bad taste in your mouth Remember, Santa only comes around once a year to empty his sack."

"I can hear music coming out of my printer. I think the papers jammin' again."

"I saw that you ""liked"" my status. You want me, don't you?"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Blue ! Blue who ? Blue away with the wind !"