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Joke of the Day
"*unplugs grandpas life support to charge my vape*"
Next Joke
"Shout out to octopi. The spiders of the sea since 1981."
"Just got seen around town doing modern guy stuff like leaning on things, holding my phone & staring disapprovingly at nothing in particular."
"I should try my hand at high stakes poker because I'm pretty good at keeping a straight face when knowingly using an expired coupon."
"If you can't say anything nice about someone, then say it very vaguely and put it as your Facebook status"
"I've read Plumbing for idiots' twice and I still haven't got a clue what I'm doing. I guess it's going to take another few reads before this sinks in."
"Violently swerving ur car will not throw a spider off the window. Doesnt work like it does with humans. Just in case u need to know."
"Met a hooker who said she'd do anything for $5 So I banged her."
"a waiter walks up to a table of yentas and asks, ""is ANYTHING alright?"""
"What the difference between Australia and a glass of milk? Leave the glass of milk alone long enough and it'll develop a culture."