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Joke of the Day
"My father has the heart of a lion... And also a lifetime ban from the zoo."
Next Joke
"Two ninjas were having an argument Two ninjas were arguing over which one was the better ninja. The first says, ""Man, you can't even throw a ninja star."" The second ninja says, ""Shuriken."""
"Which horse runs the city? The mare, of course"
"So... what do you call a sexual tree? A pork-u-pine My brain is dumb"
"What do Popeye's fingers smell like? Olive oil."
"In the beginning there was nothing... Then God said ""Let there be light!"" And there was light. There was still nothing, but you could see it a whole lot better. Edit: Credit to Ellen DeGeneris."
"GUY: I wish girls liked comics. GIRL: I love comics. GUY: Oh really? Then what's the Hulk's favorite flavor ice cream?"
"A guy told me he didn't have a penis I doubt he gets cocky often."
"Dear people who manually retweet, I hope the next time you're about to get laid someone steps in and does it for you"
"What do you get when you combine mayonnaise and bologne? Bolognese sauce"