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Joke of the Day

"""Old Macdonald had a farm. Had."" -banks"

"I'm sitting here watching this married couple argue in this restaurant. Then their 8 year old says ""oh great, dinner and a show."" Priceless."

"Q: Why can't you play Uno with a Mexican? A: They steal all the green cards."

"What's the best remedy for a sex starved drug addict? A jack and coke."

"Fighting for peace is like fucking for virginity."

"I think Google's a woman... Because it won't let you finish a sentence without coming up with other suggestions."

"*passenger next to me starts putting on headphones* Are you mad at me?"

"Anybody hear about those two car antennas that got married? Supposedly the wedding was alright but the reception was great ;)"

"What where Adam's first words to Eve? ""Don't wash it in there, you'll make the fish smell like that!"""

"Eating spicy food is like... Having your whole body sit down for a game of poker. Your stomach always wins while your sinuses and intestines get cleaned out."