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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph not essay"

"Make it a Great Friday by not getting nailed to a cross."

"65 mph wind gusts today. This is why Midwesterners are heavy. Everyone else rolls away like a tumbleweed."

"People tell me soup is better with flavor cubes. But I don't put a lot of stock in that. Because of it, though, I was the victim of a lot of boullion."

"Hilary should change her name to Monica. NSFW She obviously wants the next presidents dick in her mouth the way she steals his rhetoric"

"Q: What do you get when you cross a lawyer with the Godfather? A: An offer you can't understand."

"Can I tell you a joke? Your bum broke! hahaha! We loved this lame-ass joke as kids"

"My wife is scrolling through Netflix to see what shows I watched between now and when she asked me to vacuum. Shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit."

"When do computers go to sleep? When it's internight."

"*secret agent slaps me* I'll never give you answers *he grabs my throat* ""WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA"" *spits* I'd rather die"