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Joke of the Day

"65 mph wind gusts today. This is why Midwesterners are heavy. Everyone else rolls away like a tumbleweed."

"My grandma told my 25 year old cousin that she has finally gotten used to his beard... He agreed. ""Yeah, it has really grown on me."""

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I'd never pay to have a lentil on my face"

"2 blondes walk into a bank You'd have thought one of them would have seen it"

"Ross's sister had a fear of wind instruments So Chandler played the drums. He didn't want to Harm Monica."

"I usually read this subreddit on a toilet,... ...so that I dont shit my pants."

"What kind of insect gets triggered on tumblr? A butthurtfly"

"I just got carded at Forever 21. This is bullshit!"

"So I'm gay and single .... Does that make me homolone?"

"[murder trial] LAWYER: So you unplugged your wife's life support for five minutes? COMPUTER TECH: Sometimes that works."