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Joke of the Day

"We should re-fi, so we can get some hi-fi and watch sci-fi on the wi-fi."

"My friend Roy made up this joke, so goddamn proud Why did the beer get bottled? He was trying to dodge the draft."

"You should go to all your friend's funerals... ...otherwise they won't come to yours. EDIT: NOT MINE, a friend told me this one, he also heard it on the radio but doesn't know which context."

"Don't play with a girl's heart she only has one play with her tits, she has two of those."

"There's a new app for people recovering from bad dates. Anyone ever tried *Cinder*?"

"I walked into a gas station & a woman handed me a free slice of pizza Either Iowa is the nicest state in America or I've just been poisoned"

"Who do zombie cowboys fight? Deadskins."

"This haunted house sucks. It's just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, this is real life? NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"Funny prank: stay over at a friend's house and die on their couch."

"What does the elephant say to the naked man? How do you breath out of that thing? It's so small."