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Joke of the Day

"My friend Roy made up this joke, so goddamn proud Why did the beer get bottled? He was trying to dodge the draft."

"What's more fun than nailing dead babies to a wall? Scraping them back off"

"All women want is to have a relationship with an intelligent man. The only problem is that intelligent men don't get into relationships."

"I don't get nervous if I'm surrounded by beautiful women. I know they're all too busy hating each other to notice me."

"Are you ready for TheDivision's upcoming DLC? TheAddition? If not, you might like its already-existing-but-cut-for-later content TheSubstraction."

"Mom always said she didn't have a favorite child, which was tough because I don't have any brothers or sisters."

"Whats a ducks favourite drug? Quack cocaine"

"I got a letter from the bank saying I was still in debt. I don't know why, I sent them a cheque."

"One old song. A thousand old memories."

"Why did the baby monster put his father in the freezer? Because he wanted frozen pop."