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Joke of the Day

"Who do zombie cowboys fight? Deadskins."

"Why were people milking cow upside down? Because the system went tits-up"

"[boardroom] ""Now hear me out. They're Teenage.."" Ok ""Mutant.."" I like where this is going ""Ninja.."" Noun me, Graham! ""Turtles"" You're fired"

"Laugh, and the world laughs with you... Keep saying ""LOL"" out loud, and you'll die alone. (For Judy in Accounting)"

"So what do you pack for the end of the world? I'm thinking lots of toilet paper, oh and guns to protect my toilet paper."

"I used to be a man trapped in a woman's body But then my mother gave birth"

"Do people who criticize the presidents daughter for smoking pot forget that the last Republican vice president shot his friend in the face."

"When I was a kid I thought I had a Chinese friend But it was just my imaginasian."

"Did you hear about the millennial pharmacist that got fired? They fired him because he didn't believe in labels."

"Saw a couple standing in the park holding each other tightly, silently, not moving. I was touched. Both their phones must've been stolen."