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Joke of the Day

"First Spaceman: I'm hungry. Second Spaceman: So am I it must be launch time !"

"What did Santa Claus say when Mrs. Claus asked him for the weather? It's rain, dear!"

"I have an irrational fear of elevators I always feel like they are going to let me down someday."

"How can transportation be improved in Harlem?? By moving the trees closer together."

"I keep a chalk outline of myself drawn outside my house so any murderers think, ""dang, someone's already got the murdering covered here"""

"If someone could find a way to make all pets live as long as humans that person would win all the Nobel prizes until the end of time."

"Beernuts and Deernuts What's the difference between Beernuts and Deernuts? Beernuts are $8.95 and Deernuts are under a buck!"

"Presently poking others but your poke is important to me. Please stay online and your pokes will be returned in the order they were received. Approximate wait time is five minutes."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 8 and 9 died in a double homicide and 7 is the **prime** suspect."

"After math class, my friend fell off of a vertical cliff... I yelled Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^Y^!"