44618

Joke of the Day

"I have an irrational fear of elevators I always feel like they are going to let me down someday."

"I have a dream, that one day white socks & black shoes can be together without hatred. And not just because I accidentally wore them today."

"If life give you melons... ... you might be dyslexic."

"Why do black people have nightmares? Because the last guy who had a dream got shot"

"We've all been talking about your paranoia."

"[Interview room] Me: I'm not saying a word without my lawyer present Cop: You ARE the lawyer Me: So where's my present?!"

"I was at a restaurant and I noticed my waitress had a black eye. So I ordered very sloooowly because obviously she doesn't listen."

"As a German I have concerns about the European soccer championship... Last time it didn't end well when we sent a couple boys to France to defeat all of Europe."

"Two sperm are racing each other to get to the egg first After awhile one sperm says, ""Shouldn't we be there by now?"" The other sperm says, ""I don't think so, we just passed the esophagus."""

"I just watched one bird chase another bird from tree to tree for five minutes. It was probably over a stolen tweet."