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Joke of the Day

"How do you find Will Smith in a snowstorm...? (Rated G) Look for fresh prints..."

"Wow, I was not expecting this to blow up ! RIP Inbox. Well, I actually was."

"I just don't get life insurance. Why would I want to give my family a financial incentive to kill me?"

"Coworker: ""How was your weekend?"" Me: ""You know, they killed Socrates because he asked too many questions."""

"A priest and a nun walk into a bar. The priest says ""Can I get a drink?"" The nun says ""I got your drink right here"". o_o"

"What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison? One can't see to go the other can't go to sea."

"A poll says that 60% of women take medicine for mental instability. That means that 40% aren't taking their meds!"

"""I'm sorry"" and ""I apologize"" mean the same thing... Unless you're talking to someone at a funeral. Dimitri Martin"

"What do you call the space between Pamela Anderson's breasts? Silicon Valley."

"[doing an identification at the coroner's office] It's not her; my wife has a head."