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Joke of the Day

"PSA: IF YOU RECEIVE AN EMAIL SAYING, ""You've won two free tickets to a Justin Bieber concert!"" DO NOT OPEN IT. It contains two tickets to a Justin Bieber concert."

"What do you call someone who's both a Seahawks fan and a LOTR fan? A twelf"

"I wrote a terrible race joke today. My friends told me never to tell it. Here it is: Why was the white man chasing the black man? Because he was in first place."

"Truth in advertising #1: Burger King- Your actually having it our way, and our way consists of making you fat."

"How many psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb? Only one, but the lightbulb has to want to change."

"Good one computer geniuses, you made everything ""user friendly"" and ""intuitive"" and now idiots are on the internet commenting on everything."

"I remember when my old Nokia phone said I had low battery it meant that I had 2 days to find a charger."

"Another off color limerick A sperm, alack and forsooth Was at it's moment of sexual truth It had hoped to fall On the womb's spongy wall But was dashed to it's death on a tooth!"

"I'm going bananas... That's what I tell the bananas when I'm leaving."

"CNN just wondered if I'm sending disasters to punish you for your sins. No, I'm sending them to punish you for CNN."