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Joke of the Day

"I started to go to yoga today and then I remembered that I could lie on the floor in my own house without driving anywhere."

"Someone fell asleep next to me on the bus so I'm drawing penises on their forehead. Let this be a warning to all sleepy toddlers out there."

"What did the banana say to the vibrator? What are you shaking for? She's going to eat me!"

"So I went to an Ethiopian restaurant last week... and I am still waiting for the food."

"What do men and pizza have in common? That you call them and in 10minutes you have them h..."

"In People's Republic of Korea... Dog eat you!"

"Me: I have a younger sister but she's nothing like me. Him: Wow, she sounds perfect."

"My stomach just growled so hard I thought I was getting a text message."

"What do you call it when you lease false teeth? A dental rental."