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Joke of the Day

"ME: Dave's coming over for tea WIFE: Dave from work or Dave I'm having a secret affair with? DAVE: *from inside wardrobe* I don't eat peas"

"you hear about the indian chief that drank a case of tea he died in his tee pee"

"If Trump gets the Presidency, he'll ban all shredded cheese from being bought... He wants to make America grate again."

"Not saying dogs are better than kids in every aspect; but good luck finding a kid willing to lick up his own vomit."

"Give a man a fish, he eats for a day. Don't teach a man to fish, he's grown ass man and fishing isn't that hard."

"In the game of poker, you have to play the hand you're dealt. Unless it's a literal hand. Then it's a redeal."

"why did the chicken cross the playground...... TO GET TO THE OVER FUCKING SLIDE, EH EH EH GEEEEEEET IT HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHA *pulls the trigger"

"how do you get a dog to stop licking his balls?, pick it up and suck its dick."

"wanna hear a joke about pizza? NEVERMIND... its too cheesy"

"How do Ghosts get Drunk? Booze."