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Joke of the Day

"Whenever Becky says anything in the breakroom, I just say, ""well, that got racist pretty fast"" and walk out. I hate you so much, Becky."

"Dear Dairy There sure are a lot of cows around here."

"WW3 due to Ukraine The scariest thing about this World War Three starting is that we are on the Germans' side. They've never won a World War yet."

"Apparently ""cool story, bro"" is not an acceptable substitute for ""congratulations"" when your friend calls and tells you she's pregnant."

"Do you like tapes and CDs? If yes, can I tape my dick to your forehead so you can CDs nuts?"

"My Grandma Discovered an online knitting forum She was upset the other day, apparently she used the *wrong thread* and the Mods banned her."

"What is the meaning of trust? A cannibal giving you a blowjob"

"There's no better feeling than laying next to the person you love And they don't know you love them Or that you're in their house again"

"I got arrested... I got arrested for punching a guy at a new years party, when you hear an Arab counting down from ten your instincts kick in."

"These days people treat their cellphones like its a baby... ..except I never laugh when I drop my cellphone"