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Joke of the Day

"Rosetta Stone should make software for whatever valley girl language my 16-year old stepdaughter speaks."

"Did you hear about the suicide bomber? His career ended just as it was beginning to blow up..."

"eer booze and fun!' 'Twenty-four hours in a day... twenty-four beers in a case... coincidence?"

"I'm gonna covet you. I am gonna covet you so hard. I am gonna covet the holy living shit outta you. C'mere."

"I should become a proctologist After all I deal with assholes everyday!"

"Have any brief jokes I can snapchat a girl that I like?"

"I'm sorry I whispered ""a weem a way"" over and over during your jungle safari slide show..."

"A handicapped guy walks into a bar................just kidding."

"My gang hand signals look a lot like the finger in the hole motion, followed by the call me gesture."

"What do I and Y2K have in common? Neither of us can get a date right ;_;"