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Joke of the Day

"Massacre between rival musicians at the Symphony Orchestra today, . Authorities have condemned this act of Violins"

"Teeth are so weird. Imagine if all of our bones were exposed and we had to brush them."

"Sh*t happens... I mean look at you."

"Why was Jesus I such good shape? Crossfit. Why did the Romans hate Jesus so much? He wouldn't shut up about crossfit."

"My blind friend texted me from his new phone today! It said ""gwi u dor srw ofjrd"""

"What's the difference between a dead baby and a rock? you can't fuck a rock"

"Hi, my name is USA, and I am... addicted to starting wars in Muslim countries. This is my first meeting and I'm a little nervous."

"Whats an Italians favourite part of football? Half time, they get to switch sides again"

"I also like my women how I like my coffee. I don't like coffee."