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Joke of the Day

"Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person ""Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened."" -Adolf Hitler, 1945"

"Turns out telling a friend ""you're giving off a weird vibe tonight"" is not the most direct way to tell them they're on fire"

"Who was the greatest prostitute in history? Mrs. Pac-Man, for 25c she swallowed balls until she died"

"Q. What's te definition of a bachelor pad? A. All the house plants are dead but there's something growing in the refrigerator."

"People who don't know how to merge onto the highway, there's a bus pass for that."

"On second thought this ""Thug's Life"" tattoo probably shouldn't have been done in Comic Sans."

"So apparently ""self-deprecating humour"" is what's popular now... And I'm really not that good at it."

"After giving up crack, I've been sniffing brake fluid for months. It's okay - I can stop anytime I want."

"How do you get a Mexican across the border using only math? Carry the Juan"

"I like short jokes."