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Joke of the Day

"WebMD: You have cancer. Me: No, I feel fine. I clicked you by mistake. WebMD: And good thing you did... Cuz of the cancer."

"What's the name of that movie with that actor in which the guy does that thing with that other thing in that place during that time?"

"I hope Jackie Chan doesn't go the way of Eddie Murphy... I probably wouldn't be able to discern if he was playing every character in a movie or not."

"Have you ever stroked a parrot? I bet you've stroked a cockatoo..."

"And then whiskey said ""tweet that, it's hilarious"". But whiskey was wrong. So very wrong."

"I could tell you that sodium hydroxide is a liquid out of solution. But then that would be a lye."

"My grandfather drowned in varnish recently. A horrible way to go, but a lovely finish."

"I was talking with my girlfriend on Skype the other night... ...and she told me this really, really terrible joke. I mean, it wasn't even remotely funny!"

"What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and one is a pause at the end of a clause."

"My mate said the drink I bought him tasted funny. It was a cheap shot."