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Joke of the Day
"Margaret Sanger."
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"Jeffrey Tambor walks into a bar and spots Stephen Tobolowsky... He says, ""Have I seen you somewhere before?"""
"An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman walk into a bar... ...to watch the Welsh play in the quarter-final"
"A good friend bails you out of jail, a best friend is sitting in the cell right next to you, a worst friend framed both of you for murder."
"Two nuns sitting in a car at lights... ... when Dracula jumps on the bonnet and roars an evil roar. ""Quick, show him your cross!"" ""Oi Dracula, get off my damn car!"""
"My wife and I have lost over 150lbs combined!!! The only down side is we still have to pay his tuition."
"White lies are fine. Don't tell a black lie though. Black lies matter."
"I spend more time hitting the damn snooze button than I do snoozing."
"Don't panic if your parachute doesn't open! You have the rest of your life to fix it!"
"When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, that's LUNAR ASSAULT and it's not funny."