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Joke of the Day

"My wife and I have lost over 150lbs combined!!! The only down side is we still have to pay his tuition."

"I had to fire my secretary after she got implants... She used to work for a flat rate, then she demanded I pay her an inflated rate."

"DEFENSE: Your Honor, will you allow my client to escape? JUDGE: I'll allow it PROSECUTOR: Aw WTF JUDGE: Let's see where he goes with this"

"College Jesus Jesus opens the fridge, one of his roommates asks: ""is it wine yet"". Jesus says no it says 'still water'"

"*meets girl for coffee* *sets down blueprints for bank* ""What's this?"" Your dating profile said you were looking for a partner in crime"

"Not to be vague, but stuff and things"

"The jews rated their trips to Auschwitz... they all gave it one star."

"Oldest known British Joke from 10th century AD. What hangs at a man's thigh and wants to poke the hole that it's often poked before? A key"

"The fourth Harry Potter book marked a huge tone shift for the rest of the series. I mean, the fifth book was dead serious."

"Why do some Italian Christmas cakes cause so much trouble? Because you have to open pandoro's box to eat them."