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Joke of the Day

"Jeffrey Tambor walks into a bar and spots Stephen Tobolowsky... He says, ""Have I seen you somewhere before?"""

"Can someone please help me to spell misogynistic? A man preferably"

"Knife > gun because if I pull a knife, you don't know what I'm gonna do. Stab you? Open a letter? Or am I gonna frost a cake? It's a mystery"

"*puts baby powder in a crib* *adds water*"

"I let my baby girl know she can do anything. Except taking the bow out of her hair cuz IT'S REALLY CUTE AND SHE NEEDS TO LEAVE IT ALONE."

"there's a pile of shoes by the door and you're looking for the pair that will be the quietest for when you leave"

"What do you call a gathering of Arthur's Knights? A Sir conference."

"What does Charlie Sheen say when he's having sex with a Vietnamese Lady? Nguyenning!"

"PC is getting way out of hand. You can't even say black paint anymore. Instead it's gotta be ""Jamal, please paint."""

"Have you heard of the new crime drama involving a rich dinner party? It's called Law and Hors D'oeuvres."