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Joke of the Day

"Leaving restaurant: ""That was lovely"" Outside: ""Well, it was okay"" In car: ""I mean, it wasn't great"" Back home: ""We won't go there again"""

"Roses are red.. Violets are blue... If Rebecca Black wins a Grammy, Kanye, you know what to do!"

"Why did the man bring his jar of jam to the abortion clinic? He had trouble unscrewing it."

"What do you call 4 Mexicans in a sinkhole? Quatro Sinco"

"I will straight up walk into traffic to avoid a kid selling something."

"""In my defense, Your Honor, I only made comments about her yoga pants cause harassment a lot to me"" ""Bailiff, please hi-five the defendant"""

"What kind of bug do you find on a long car ride? An I-shoulda-pede."

"Why do Jewish men like to watch porno movies backwards? They like the part where the hooker gives the money back."

"When a Black Hole Crosses Your Path Nature abhors a vacuum, but not as much as a cat does."

"Donald Trump is like the ""Scream"" movies in that he blurs the line between comedy and horror."