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Joke of the Day
"I will straight up walk into traffic to avoid a kid selling something."
Next Joke
"Saying 'I'm sorry' and 'I apologise' mean the same thing.. .. except when at a funeral."
"Wife: Are you even listening to me? Me: Of course W: Oh yeah, what did I say? M: [smoke bomb] W: I can still see you M: [Another smoke bomb]"
"Did you hear about the vampire who had an eye for the ladies? He used to keep it in his back pocket."
"There's no ""shame"" in ""glitter"", but there's shame and glitter on me."
"Each year millions of innocent lives are lost when they accidentally board the wrong plane bound straight for the waiting mouth of a child."
"You know what a Walrus and Tupperware have in common? They're both looking for a tight seal"
"[NSFW] What's the difference between a woman and a Fridge? A Fridge doesn't fart when you take the meat out."
"After 1am you can sit back and relax because the bad decisions pretty much make themselves."
"I was gonna make a joke about hitting the gym ...maybe tomorrow"