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Joke of the Day

"""In my defense, Your Honor, I only made comments about her yoga pants cause harassment a lot to me"" ""Bailiff, please hi-five the defendant"""

Next Joke
 
"I was walking down the street one day.. and I saw a man taking a gate. I was going to say something but I thought he might take offence."
"What do you call a man wearing two rain jackets? Max"
"What's black and sits at the top of the stairs? Stephen Hawking in a house fire :)"
"I look at beautiful girls the same way I look at traffic. Meaning that I'm stuck and going nowhere with them"
"I just heard about it and I totally think I am... What if I'm a hypochondriac?"
"My calculus professor recently divorced his wife .. .. one day he simply told her ""I'm making a you substitution""."
"My friend recently tried to get appointed chancellor of Germany but failed. I told him he was literally worse than Hitler."
"I could've sworn there was less grunting and moaning the last time I put these pants on... Maybe the donut in my mouth muffled it"
"Someone asked me if I wanted to watch Richard the third. I Said 'I haven't the seen the first 2'"