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Joke of the Day

"When you ask a girl, Wanna go to the gym with me? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rQegAi6d-MM"

"[shows up late for first day of new job] *blames it on rush hour* [shows up late for second day of new job] *blames it on rush hour 2*"

"You might say I'm socially constipated... ... ... I haven't given a shit in years."

"How can Donald Trump avoid impeachment? By dropping out now."

"""I'm sooo wasted,"" said My Opportunities."

"The problem with having a large imagination is that you can imagine your friends naked. Now you're doing it too."

"TL; DR: Action hero references Oedipus Die Hard's John McClane and his catchphrase . . ."

"Like my nana used to always say, ""screen shots say more about the person sharing them than anything else"""

"Knock-Knock... -Who's there? -Doctor. -Doctor Who? -No, bitch. Doctor House."

"""Hey Iron Man, how'd you get your powers?"" *flashes back to tony stark being bitten by a radioactive ironing board*"