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Joke of the Day
"""I'm sooo wasted,"" said My Opportunities."
Next Joke
"""The only way I'd go to a Justin Bieber concert, is if it was a Jay-Z concert"" - my 9 yr old daughter"
"It would be a fun surprise if Jay-Z said he finished laying down some tracks and when you went outside there was a railroad."
"What's a horny pirates worst nightmare? A sunken chest with no booty! *ba dum tssh*"
"""let's put computers and keyboards in our cars. now let's go catch all the people typing on tiny keyboards in their cars"" - cops"
"No matter how much you love someone, your whole world can change within 5 seconds of watching them run."
"You know who else doesn't leave another man's girlfriend alone? Mosquitos"
"People don't usually compliment me on my driving... But today I saw a note on my car that said ""PARKING FINE"". That was nice of them. ... I'll escort myself out."
"Why did the melon get married in a church? Because he was in love with a cantaloupe."
"What do you call a gay midget? Sweet and Low"