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Joke of the Day

"The problem with having a large imagination is that you can imagine your friends naked. Now you're doing it too."

"Five. Five dollar. Five dollar (and thirty five cents sales tax) footlong."

"What Do you get when you cross a kangaroo and a Sheep? A WOOLY JUMPER :)"

"My church says to treat my body like a temple. And let all the priests inside."

"Elton John was asked if he'd like an iceberg lettuce in his salad he thought for a moment and replied ""no thanks, I'm a rocket man"""

"KIDS: [from the kitchen] dad...may we have ice cream? ME: no you may not [long pause] K: dad...may we be forgiven if we already had ice cream?"

"My friend and I got featured on a listicle. We both think that most listicles are awful attempts to just get ad revenue but hey, at least we're on the same page."

"Why do programmers confuse Halloween with Christmas? Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC."

"I was walking down the road and some guy tipped a whole carton of milk on me... How dairy"

"What's the difference between a chick pea and a garbanzo? I've never had a garbanzo on my face."