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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between an onion and a prostitute? You only cry when you're cutting up one. Sorry if this is too 'dirty' a joke, just a change of pace I guess."

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"What's the difference between a dentist and a sadist? Newer magazines."
"Game of Thrones is exciting, but I think it's important to remember that these people are fighting over a chair"
"What's brown and runny? Usain Bolt"
"Me: So excited for the weekend! Predatory alien in disguise: Same here! Sooo easy to catch, right M: Huh P: The weakened M: What P: What"
"Did you hear about the fool who keeps going round saying ""no""? No. Oh so it's you!"
"One time I asked, ""What would Jesus do?"". That's the same day I almost drowned."
"So, a happy Muslim on an empty stomach enters a gay bar............. Bartender asks, ""What will it be!?"" The Muslim replies, ""Shots for everyone!"""
"I can tell when my skincare puns make you cry by how moisturiser."
"What is the favourite part of Halloween for a pedophile? The home delivery."