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Joke of the Day
"What's brown and runny? Usain Bolt"
Next Joke
"You know what the first sign of AIDS is, right? A severe pounding in the ass..."
"How to make your girl feel special: 1) Write down how you feel about your drink or drug of choice. 2) Put her name on it & give it to her."
"Why are math books useless? Because they are full of problems."
"ME: did it hurt GIRL AT BAR: did wat hurt ME: when ur hopes of having a nice uninterupted night out got crushed bc i started talking to u"
"I was at a party playing guitar once and somebody asked me if I could play Wonderwall I said maybe"
"Woke up this morning, looked in the mirror & said out loud, ""You gotta bring it today!"" SO I'M GONNA BRING IT! *brings lunch to work*"
"Why does Bob Seger always laugh when he plays chess? He thinks it's funny how the Knight moves."
"*Detective stands over murder victim* This looks like a case of... *Takes off sunglasses* *Removes contacts* *Brushes teeth* *Goes to bed*"
"In a lesbian relationship who makes the sandwich? Neither. They both eat out!"