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Joke of the Day

"Doc, I can't stop singing the 'Green Green Grass of Home'. He said: 'That sounds like Tom Jones syndrome'. 'Is it common?'I asked. 'It's not unusual' he replied."

"It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets. It is so cold outside I saw a politician with his hands in his own pockets."

"5 dicks So I was at a bar and couldn't help but notice the guy next to me was pissing with 5 dicks. I was like ""Krakens! How do those even fit in your pants?"" He replied ""They fit like a glove."""

"My husband still waves to policemen like a 5 year old."

"Today I fucked up Now she's pregnant :/"

"Is Lobster Bisque a good rap name?"

"What do you have if you don't have a Kia? A Nokia."

"I asked my English teacher whether I should pronounce ""either"" as ""ee-ther"" or ""eye-ther"" He said, ""You can say either."""

"How do you get 1000 dead babies into a phone booth? A blender. How do you get them out? Tostitos"

"<joke> ""Punchline"" is not an internal or external command. Attempting a continue... C:\Windows\System32\ taskkill /IM joke.exe </joke>"