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Joke of the Day

"What the mothers against drunk driving aren't counting on is my innate ability to run people over while sober."

"In Israel, we just want peace. A piece of Jordan, a piece of Egypt, a piece of Lebanon..."

"How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? Two, but how they got in there I will never know."

"Want to hear a joke? Bacontaco"

"What did Leonardo DaVinci call his house? The DaVinci Abode"

"Before sending a tweet l always test it on my wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, l know it has potential."

"Wakes up grumpy, but most days he just lets her sleep...."

"The problem with political jokes is they get elected. --Henry Cate VII"

"Scarface didn't really give those guys enough time to say ""hello"" before shooting them."

"Why did the blind woman fall down the well? Because she couldn't see that well."