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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between a GOOD and a BAD girl? A GOOD girl goes to a party, goes home then goes to bed. A BAD girl goes to a party, goes to bed then goes home."

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"What happened to the horse that swallowed a dollar bill? It bucked!"
"What do you call a fascist in an ironic t-shirt Adolf Hipster."
"Why does the american border patrol guard take Xanax? To stop hispanic attacks."
"Just got a tattoo of my wife so when she pisses me off I can stab myself in the arm and watch that b%tch bleed."
"Why are postal carriers the most masculine profession? Because they're male men"
"I come from a family of failed magicians I have 2 half sisters"
"BREAKING NEWS: NASA announces Mars Rover discovered new feline-like life form on the Red Planet Unfortunately, it ran over the newly discovered creature. Yes, it seems Curiosity killed the cat."
"Fun fact: When swimming upstream, salmon can jump up as high as 6 feet. Unless its a white salmon."
"[highschool reunion] CLASSMATE: I'm a top chef. You? ME: I'm an avoca C: a what M: an avoca C: what's an avoca do M: a top chef would know"
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