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Joke of the Day

"[highschool reunion] CLASSMATE: I'm a top chef. You? ME: I'm an avoca C: a what M: an avoca C: what's an avoca do M: a top chef would know"

"I can't believe that... after all the times my girlfriend called me ""daddy"", she still didn't get me anything for Father's Day."

"All those guys who refuse to marry their girlfriends until everybody has the right to marry must be shitting their pants."

"3YO: MOMMY HELP HELP! ME *throws cat off lap, drops phone, spills coffee on self, runs up stairs, kicks open door* 3YO: I want a snack."

"In the USSR's School system it was very important not to fall asleep while the teacher was talking Or you would fail to achieve class consciousness."

"'Escalator' is what He-Man's enemy is called in Spain."

"How school works: 2+2=4. Homework: 2+4+2=8. Exam: John had 4 apples. He eats one and gives one to a friend. Calculate the Suns mass."

"My last girlfriend was a promiscuous impressionist. She did everybody."

"The Bible is %100 accurate Especially at close range"

"How many countries border Germany? Nein!"