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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a fascist in an ironic t-shirt Adolf Hipster."

"I once knew a guy in high school who got caught masturbating in the shower. It really ruined our class trip to Auchwitz for us."

"Why did the sperm cross the road? Because I was wearing the wrong socks."

"Stupid baby keeps knocking my bong over."

"I still remember the last thing my grandma said before she kicked the bucket. ""hey, watch me kick this bucket""."

"This election feels like Tim Burton was writing and directing it and halfway through Quentin Tarantino took over."

"NEVER shake a baby. Unless you think it might have money in it."

"My ex wife still misses me but her aim is getting better"

"Fart John farts in the local market and Jack says: ""What was that ?"" John says: ""That was an atomic bomb"""

"""You're prettier than I remember, you were SO FAT the last time I saw you!"" TY Uncle Bob, I was 8months pregnant. *spits in his pumpkin pie"