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Joke of the Day

"Someone's overfeeding that damn cat. I mean.. there's something like Stonehenge in her litter box."

"My math teacher said I was average. How mean!"

"Don't cut out part of your day to throw out clocks! It's a waste of time!"

"I woke this morning to find Mr.Mittens on the bed staring at me with a look that said 'You're a mouth breather, and I'll never respect you'"

"WHAT DO WE WANT?! Follow-up questions! WHEN DO WE WANT IT? OH HELL YEAH THAT'S THE STUFF"

"What's the difference between a white baby and a black baby ? 20 minutes, thermostat 8."

"What did Dr. Seuss call the book he wrote about Star Wars? The Cat in the AT-AT"

"There should be a trap door at the front of the line for coffee that opens into a pit of fire if you take too long to order."

"What would Captain America be called if he fought in Vietnam? You weren't there man"

"Went to my daughters netball match this weekend What a semi"