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Joke of the Day

"Don't cut out part of your day to throw out clocks! It's a waste of time!"

"Thieves broke into my house and stole everything except my soap. Dirty bastards."

"How do you know when it's midnight at Neverland Ranch? The big hand touches the little hand."

"Taylor Swift seems like the kind of chick who'd stare at her boyfriend while he's sleeping."

"I brought my Beats headphones to work, and instead of being left alone, I've had 7 rap battles and am in the finals against A$AP Carol."

"Why did the Titanic have a hard time getting a date? It couldn't break the ice."

"I don't get why people are upset with Beyonce supporting the black panthers during the Super Bowl... The losing team was already FULL of black panthers"

"I once had a midget for a wife. until I took an arrow to the knee."

"Jesus take the veal take it from my plate cause I can't eat this on my own I let myself go this maybe my last chance in my fight against obesity Jesus take the veal"

"What do you call a nun on a bicycle? virgin mobile"