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Joke of the Day

"Two fish are in a tank. One asks the other, ""Do you know how to drive this thing?"" ... There's the door. I will show myself out."

"What do a baby and a pancake have in common? If it s black it ain t good"

"I want to die like my grandfather, softly in my sleep... ...not screaming in terror like his passengers."

"So an atheist pastor, vegan butcher, and the presidential candidate Donald Trump walk into a bar..."

"My Welsh Friend I asked my welsh mate how many sexual partners he had had, but I never got to find out. Everytime he tried counting them he fell asleep."

"I told my mom I was going to go work the polls. She replied, ""don't forget to wipe it down before you start your set."""

"How many sociologists does it take to change a light bulb? Only one, but the light bulb has to want to change."

"I'm sure I didn't invent this joke, but i thought of it myself. What do you call a dog/ octopus hybrid? A Dog-opus! What about a cat/ octopus hybrid? an Octo-puss... buddum tiss*"

"What is a wolf's favourite dance move? The Shuffle ... pack of wolves."

"Feeling pretty good about myself today so I'm going to go meet up with an ex-girlfriend to bring me back down to normal"