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Joke of the Day

"Life teachings Q: What do you call it when your child teaches you something they are interested in? A: Learning from your mistakes."

"I hadn't seen it in a while, but at a concert last night I saw someone using a disposable camera... It gave me a flashback"

"Why does the rabbit hide Easter eggs? Because he is ashamed of fucking the chicken."

"The Doctor made me walk again... Because I had to sell my car in order to pay the hospital bill"

"What is the gayest food? Indian food. It tears your ass apart :("

"I met a man whose feet were always asleep. I guess you could say he was comatoes."

"why would anyone want a baby? it's just another thing you have to clean"

"[family hears me pull in driveway] wife: please don't wrestling announcer: sorry ma'am he already paid me. NOW ENTERING THE HOUSE FROM WORK"

"Why does it take 100 mink to make a fur coat? Because they are lazy and have small hands!"

"What kind of coffee do terrorists hate? French press. (Too soon?)"