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Joke of the Day
"It's very easy to clean yourself to the tune of ""Uptown Funk"". Don't believe me? Just wash."
Next Joke
"Him: You're pretty obnoxious. You know that? Me: I'm sorry. All I heard was pretty."
"There are two ways to trigger a nuclear chain reaction: ... The first involves hitting uranium with accelerated protons. The second is mentioning Hillary and Feminism in one sentence."
"How do the Lanisters make large beds? They put two twins together to make a king."
"The problem with the exclamation point & question mark being side by side on a keyboard: I'm so sorry your grandma died? I love you?"
"What picture does a cup get when it goes to prison? A MUGshot."
"My buddy's a surfer who left Egypt because his strict Christian family was always hovering over him... They were, like, hella Coptic bro."
"What is the most common cause of feline blindness? Cataracts"
"The only time my car goes 0-100 real fast. Is when it's sitting in broad daylight on a summer day."
"What's the hardest part of golf for asians? Driving"