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Joke of the Day

"If you get mixed up when you read with your fingers, you're just Braillely dyslexic."

"My Favorite Limerick There once was a fellow McSweeney Who put some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his girlfriend a martini"

"Straight people... are fucking pussies."

"If someone wants to date me, I don't want to date them. Because they obviously make bad life choices."

"I am a feminist. Unless you tell me to go and bring you a sandwich. I'm also a waitress."

"forget about gun laws, there needs to be more focus on who can own an acoustic guitar"

"How do you get a fat lady in a car? Piece of cake."

"Can't wait until phones become waterproof so pushing people in pools becomes funny again."

"How did I know my joke was not alright with my audience? They all left."

"This joke is funny only today. Knock, knock. Who's there? Open. Open who? Open SSL."