171396

Joke of the Day

"My Favorite Limerick There once was a fellow McSweeney Who put some gin on his weenie Just to be couth He added vermouth And slipped his girlfriend a martini"

"I was at the pet shop, and said ""I'd like to buy a wasp."" ""We don't sell wasps,"" they said. ""Then why do you have one in the window?"""

"A good rule to live by Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things."

"Yo Momma so ugly.. She look like Darth Vader naked."

"Why did the dick go to 7-11? Q: Why did the dick go to 7-11? A: To get a Slurpee."

"When i told my friends i was going to be a comedian they laughed at me. They're not laughing now."

"What's ten inches long and white? Not a damn thing! I thought it was time we had some racist jokes towards someone who isn't black for once ;D"

"Islamic Settlers of Catan Everytime you get a sheep you also get wood"

"I hope puns are okay. If you live downwind from a milk processing plant, everything smells like dairy air."

"What's the difference between a sharply dressed man on a unicycle and a poorly dressed man on a bicycle? A tire."