156360

Joke of the Day

"If someone wants to date me, I don't want to date them. Because they obviously make bad life choices."

"How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? 10-tickles."

"What do you call a group that keeps getting bigger? A crew."

"1st thing I do when I take a girl back to my bedroom is act like a stewardess & instruct her where exits are, oxygen masks, & life jackets."

"I went on a date last night!nIt went really well...up until the moment the couple realized I was following them & promptly called the cops."

"Q. How do you get down from an aerial ladder? A. You don't get down from an aerial ladder. You get down from a duck."

"A joke about Serenity [Spoilers] How do Reavers clean their spears? They put them through the Wash. Sorry."

"My friend told me my mustache makes me looks like Jeffery Dahmer. I said, ""Thanks. I've always wanted a killer stache."""

"*cat lays on my leg* *I remain perfectly still for hours, so she won't leave* *I move half an inch* *cat buys bus-ticket for next town over*"

"Why couldn't the skeleton add 1 + 1? Because he doesn't have a brain"