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Joke of the Day

"Not everything Donald Trump says is stupid. He also says ""Tremendous"", ""Sad"", and ""Pathetic""."

"English is not my first language but I think my boss appreciates me He always says I am this functional!"

"Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts? He was caught playing with his broomstick."

"I wonder if anyone in a full burqa ever thinks, ""Wow, that's a great picture of me."""

"I'll never forget my grandpa's final words, ""stop shaking the ladder you cunt."""

"My shower has two settings: -Freezing Cold -The Ending of Terminator 2"

"Just moved out on my own and am doing really well... All my bills say im outstanding"

"Dear Abby, I saw a questionable mole on this girl I like. How do I tell her without letting her know I hid a camera in her shower?"

"What's the difference between a blonde and a washing machine? You can throw your load in a washing machine and it won't follow you around for two weeks afterward"

"""Why can't anything be easy?!?"" I moaned as my real-time handheld connection to all the world's information briefly ran slower than usual."