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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a a a a aoohhh? Yo mama last night bro."

"I started microfinancing my money to get better savings. It just made a lot of cents to me."

"I now feel I've watched enough reruns of The Shawshank Redemption on basic cable that I'll be able to successfully make it in prison."

"What's the difference between a Catholic priest and a pimple? A pimple doesn't come on a boys face until he's 13"

"How do you call... ...a girl that only dates men who own expensive cars? Porschetitute."

"Can we stop calling actors ""brave""? ""I cant believe he had the courage to play dress up pretend time make believe"""

"Guys, I know Charlie Sheen isn't winning right now. But at least he's positive."

"Why do all these blurry people keep telling me I'm drunk?"

"I was talking to a record producer at the urinals and now I've got a number 1 on my hands"

"Fred: You've got a Roman nose. Harry: Like Julius Caesar? Fred: No it's roamin' all over your face."