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Joke of the Day

"I was talking to a record producer at the urinals and now I've got a number 1 on my hands"

"When I grow up, I want to be a gif."

"What do you call an elephant that can't do sums ? Dumbo !"

"A pirate walks into a bar The bar tender notices that he has a ships wheel sticking out of the front of his pants, he asks ""doesn't that bother you"". And the pirate says ""arrrr it's drivin me nuts"""

"I wanna stand next to a bum with my own sign that says ""my hair has no volume today & I can't find the microfiber cloth for my $160 Oakleys"""

"If I poured phenolphthalein on you it would turn pink. Because you a basic bitch."

"If Johnny Cash were alive today. He'd probably just be known as Johnny Credit/Debit."

"I like my girls like I like my coffee. Ground up and in the freezer."

"lady, cut my neck open with trimmers, i dont care, but if you try and start a conversation with me im never coming back to this Supercuts"

"me: *rubs lamp* genie: I will grant you three wishes me: can you go away I'm rubbing this lamp"