200949

Joke of the Day

"Can we stop calling actors ""brave""? ""I cant believe he had the courage to play dress up pretend time make believe"""

"IF SEAL IS BROKEN, PLEASE NOTIFY ZOOKEEPER IMMEDIATELY"

"I hope fashion in the future isn't all like, weird metal bird outfits. Cuz a bunch of mine just got stolen."

"Cracked me up when I was 5, still cracks me up as an adult. Why do gorillas have such big nostrils? Because they have such big fingers!"

"I was laying on my SO's chest and commented on how comfortable it was... And she hits me with a ""It's like it's MAMMorey foam!"" line. I was quite impressed."

"What's the fastest way to get a ripped body? Take highwhey."

"Cutting a bell pepper feels like the vegetable version of killing an alien with all its little alien babies."

"Met a girl named Gravity She was down to earth..."

"How do you stop clowns from attacking you? Go for the juggler"

"A man walks into a gym and asks the personal trainer which machine will make him most attractive to women.. The instructor points to the back of the gym "" The ATM machine"""