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Joke of the Day

"*caterpillar looks up at sky* ""My dream is to fly a plane one day."" Other Caterpillar: You don't pay any attention in science class, do you?"

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"Recent studies have shown that 5 out of 6 people enjoy gang rapes, and would be apart of one again."
"What do catholic priests and McDonalds workers have in common? They both put their meat in 10 year old buns."
"A woman stopped me in the street and asked me to show her how to get to the hospital. So I pushed her under a bus."
"how many mice do you need to screw in a light bulb? just 2. The hard part is getting them into the light bulb."
"What did the human call the bee after it stung him? An ass hole"
"I have an EpiPen... My friend gave it to me as he was dying...It seemed pretty important to him that I have it, I'll cherish it always. edit: grammar"
"I just started a new job at a factory that makes chess pieces. I'm on knights next week."
"What do you call a blind dinosaur? A Doyouthinkhesawus"
"It's cute how my wife thinks I can read her mind when I can't even dress the kids properly."